Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Adopted children born 1969-1973 likely in Ontario, Canada

I have very little to go on and this is all speculation.   But I have to at least try....

When I was a teenager a family member told me that the man my mother told me was my father wasn't actually my father.  This family member said they knew who my father was (impression I got was they knew them personally, but perhaps they were dead or no longer around for some reason) but this relative was not willing to tell me who it was.

As it turns out, the man she always claimed was my father wasn't, but the man who is has never met this relative, and so since my mother had been away from home for some years before returning with a 4 year old me, I suspect that this relative knew of another pregnancy of my mothers, before me, before she moved out west to BC.  I know my mother was in BC from fall 1973 and had me there in Nov 1974.  The relative was back in Ontario and had no contact with  my mother at that time.  Then when my mother showed up with me when I was 4, they didn't really think through the math, and figured I was the baby from the pregnancy they knew of / from the father they knew.

After my mother died someone circulated a rumor that my mother had had twins before she had me, and that they were taken away and adopted out.  I have my suspicions on who started the talk, but no one would confess.  I asked family members who all denied the story, or didn't respond.  I did wonder though if it might not be true, because every time I was pregnant mother would comment about twins, and when I would say it doesn't run in the family she would always say you never know...and her behavior about it seemed a bit off.

My father tells me a year ago when we found each other that he heard from someone my mother was living with before she conceived me that my mother had had other children who were taken from her and adopted out.  These children, I figure, would have been born 1969 - early 1973, likely in Ontario, maybe at Cambridge.  They could have been twins or there could have been more than one pregnancy and adoption.  It is entirely possible records were falsified and she had them under a false name.

When I was a teenager, I think maybe around when I was 14, my mother went through a period where she mentioned adoption to me many times, things along the lines of didn't I think it was best to leave adopted children alone and not search for them, that their adopted families were the "real" families and that it would only cause problems.  At the time, I didn't think it likely she had children before me, and I thought this was brought on by a daytime soap opera or talk show or something she read.  I reassured her that sure, leave things alone, and wish now I could take it back.

I now think that she was talking herself out of finding my half siblings, and I really wish she would have told me about them.  I know that she would not have given them up willingly, and know a bit about the circumstances of her life when they would have been born.

I have tried to search through the government run Adoption Registry in Ontario, and applied for their non-ID but was told they were unable to find the adoption.   It is possible that it was a black market type adoption and even possible that the people I am looking for do not know that they were adopted.    It is also possible that the adoption took place in another province, maybe Calgary, Alberta, and maybe under the name Jan Cordelli or some other name.

I think that is is possible that one or more of them may have been born with Downs Syndrome or FAS.

I have tested at 23andMe and transferred my data to FTDNA, and have no half sibling matches that I didn't test there myself...If you think that you are one of these siblings I am looking for or have more information about them please contact me.  I and my other siblings would love to hear from you!